Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (Series Rewrite)
by Dork Asian
Summary: For eight hundred years, Norrisville High has been protected by a Ninja. No one knows that every four years a new warrior is chosen to fight the forces of evil. I was chosen to protect my school. I am the Ninja. I am Randy Cunningham. Series rewrite! (Full summary inside!)
1. You Are Chosen

_**Randy Cunningham: 9**__**th**__** Grade Ninja (Series Rewrite)**_

_**Summary: **__For eight hundred years, Norrisville High has been protected by a Ninja. Nobody knows that every four years a new warrior has been chosen to fight the forces of evil. I was chosen to protect my school. I am the Ninja. I am Randy Cunningham. In this on-going story, the series you love will be rewritten and redone into something more. With subtle dark and mature themes, character-development, and plots that will satisfy teens and kids, this take of _"Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja" _will not disappoint. Read and enjoy._

**Author's Note:**

**I, Dork Asian, has recently went through a writer's block for my story**_"The Story of the Warrior in White: The Rise of Evil__"_ **and is struggling to retain my muse. Recently, after waiting for the season two premiere, my friend (who will not be named) said that she was absolutely disappointed at the recent episodes. So, I went on the RC9GN wiki and searched for the recent episode. (I no longer have Disney XD and now I have to look for links to watch episodes.) The recent episodes were "Flume-Igation" and "On the Poolfront". Though the episode was good, the writing (in my opinion) was poor. I mean, seriously?**

**So, I had an inspiration breakthrough. Throughout the series, there were awesome episodes (like "Last Stall on the Left") and there were not-so awesome episodes. I told this to my best friend and she said, "If you think you can do better than the writers of this epic show, then why don't you do it then?" So, I took the dare!**

**I present to you the "Randy Cunningham: 9****th**** Grade Ninja" series rewrite! Here, I will rewrite some episodes, redo episodes that were terrible, and make it so it will satisfy teens and kids. This story will have rewritten and redo's of Season One and my version of Season Two. I will also put some of my head cannon stuff in here too, along with some of my OC's! **

**Though, I don't own everything. "Randy Cunningham: 9****th**** Grade Ninja" belongs to its writers, Jed Elinoff & Scott Thomas and Disney XD. I only own head-cannons, OC's, new plots, and my version of Season Two.**

**Fan-fiction writers, readers, people who go on the RC9GN wiki, and everyone else, enjoy! (And don't forget to review!)**

(…..LINE….BREAK….)

_Episode One (Series Preview): Last Stall on the Left_

_Episode One [Series Preview (My Version)]: You Are Chosen_

…..

"Come on Cunningham," whined a ginger-haired boy. "We _have _to find a way to see the Ninja!"

"And how do you supposed we do that, Howard?" asked a purple-haired teen.

"I don't know," said Howard. "You're the one who always comes up with the ideas."

"How are we best friends again?" asked Randy, shaking his head.

"Beats me," shrugged the smaller teen.

The two teenagers laughed as they walked through the halls of Norrisville High. Norrisville High, not only the best school in Norrisville, but also was protected by the Ninja, a man who has been around for eight hundred years. As the years went on, the Ninja was beloved by all who lived in Norrisville and admired by many. For Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman, the Ninja was the best guy in the world and no one could replace him. In fact, when they were little, they made a pact. The pact states that when they reach high school, they would find a way to meet the mysterious and elusive warrior by the end of the first week.

But, the two have been at this school for two days, and the Ninja hasn't made an appearance once. So, the two teens spent every moment planning a way to meet their hero.

"Why can't he just do a meet-n-greet?" whined Howard.

"Because he's too busy with protecting us from things that can end our lives forever," Randy said.

The two walked into their English class, taking their seats in nearest to the window. Around them, students were talking to one another or walking around. Howard winked at some girls, who just scoffed and looked away. Randy snorted.

"Dude," chuckled Randy, "I thought our top priority was to meet the Ninja, _not _hooking up with girls."

"Cunningham, this is _high _school," Howard said, spreading his arms. "No longer are we in middle school, a jailhouse for young preteens. We are in high school, a place where us mature teens—"

"You're never mature," laughed Randy.

"—can be popular, get hot girlfriends, and make our mark that will be forever remembered!"

Randy just shook his head and looked out the window. It was autumn in Norrisville, and everything was just right. During the day was warm with a cool, crisp breeze. The trees' green leaves turned bright red, fiery orange and light brown. Teens and children would be at school, while adults and parents would be busy at work or relaxing at home. Home…

"Cunningham? Cunningham, are you listening to me?"

Randy turned his head over to Howard, who was staring at him.

"What?"

"I asked what you are going to do after school," Howard said irritably.

"Uh…can't. Mom has this…interview for a job and she says I can't have anyone over."

"Again?" groaned Howard. "That's what you said when I asked you _yesterday. _How many job interviews does your mom have?"

Randy just shrugged.

…

Randy and Howard were walking through the halls, heading off to third period. The two were still trying to come up with ways to meet the Ninja. There were many things they came up with that were horrible and others that were just plain ridiculous.

There was the idea that one of them would dress up as a monster to gain the Ninja's attention. ('Seriously, Howard? No one is that stupid.) Then, there was the one that one of them would try to kidnap the Ninja after he defeats a monster. ('Wow Cunningham. And I thought _I _was the stupid one.') And then…well you get the idea.

"What are we going to do, Cunningham?!" whined Howard.

"Maybe it's for the best," Randy said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Howard shot him a look.

"What the heck? We're the Ninja's biggest fans! Why aren't you freaking out about this?"

"Well I—"

Suddenly, a monster burst out of a wall. It was a half robot, half wolf monster. Its right eye was yellowish amber while its right eye was more robotic and the color green. Its front legs were normal while its hind legs were metallic. All in all, it looked deadly and not-so friendly. With one growl, it sent students running and screaming in fear and terror. Unfortunately, the robo-wolf had its eyes set on Randy and Howard. The two teens backed up until they hit a wall.

"Cunningham," said Howard.

"Yeah, Howard?" asked Randy.

"Have we ever watched a movie were the hero was about to be killed by a robotic wolf?"

"No, I believe we have not."

"We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Yes, yes we are."

The robo-wolf moved closer, growling maliciously. Sweat rolled down Randy's face as the wolf got closer.

"Howard, I think this is the end."

"But we haven't finished our bucket list yet! I haven't told Heidi how much I hate her!"

"We had a good run. I just thought we would get past twelfth grade."

"Me too, buddy. Me too."

As the wolf got closer, Randy suddenly had an idea. Randy looked to his side and found a mop lying on the ground. The janitor must have left it behind when he ran in panic. Randy bent down and picked it up.

"Howard, on the count of three, you need to run."

"Wait, what?"

Randy slowly raised the mop, and Howard got the plan.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" he asked.

"Nope," replied Randy. "I'm just gonna wing and see if it works."

"Good enough for me."

They both nodded to each other, and the plan was set in motion.

"One…"

The wolf gave a devilish smirk as it walked closer. Howard was getting ready to run.

"Two…"

The wolf stopped. It narrowed its eyes, and leaped up.

"THREE!"

Randy swung the mop, and it hit the wolf right in the face. The wolf was thrown back, and landed right into the lockers. Howard made a mad dash towards the exit, with Randy following suit.

"Dude, I can't believe that work!" Howard called over his shoulder.

"I know!" exclaimed Randy. "I thought we were gonna die!"

Suddenly, Randy was thrown to the ground. He yelped, finding himself pinned to the ground. The robo-wolf pinned him, growling right in his face. Saliva-like oil dripped from its muzzle, landing on Randy's face and shirt.

"CUNNINGHAM!"

Randy looked over to Howard, who was half-way towards the exit. Randy knew what he had to do, and he was probably going to die for it.

"Howard, go without me!"

"I'm not leaving you behind, Randy!" Howard protested.

"Just go!" Randy urged. "I'll be fine."

"That's a lie!"

"JUST GO!"

Howard hesitated. It was either go and leave his best friend behind, or stay behind and die with him. Dying was better than just leaving. The pudgy teen stood his ground, and stared right into the slimmer teen's eyes.

"You can do it Cunningham!"

Randy chuckled. His best friend was always the stubborn one, and he was glad for that. With newfound courage, he looked up at the wolf and narrowed his eyes.

"Get off me, robo mutt!"

Recklessly, Randy threw a punch right at the wolf's face, knocking the wolf back just enough so Randy could rise up. The purple-haired teen winced, clutching his fist close to his chest. Metal hurts, especially if you purposely hit it with all your strength. His knuckles bled, and his wrist ached. Probably wasn't the _smartest _thing to do, but he had no other choice.

The wolf shook itself, getting its balance back. It wasn't down for the count, but it was still weakened. Randy had to act fast, or else he and Howard were screwed for good. Suddenly, he got an idea. It was a stupid idea, but it was better than no idea at all.

"Come and get me, sparky!"

With that, Randy made a mad sprint towards the gym. Preferably, towards the boys' shower-room.

…

Randy's sneakers squeaked against the tiles of the shower-room. It was empty, probably due to everyone evacuated the building. But, the showers weren't off. Probably during the panic, the students forgot to turn off the water while hurrying to get dress.

Hot water streamed out of the shower-heads, causing steam to pool out through the shower-room. It looked as if he was alone, but somewhere through the fog the robo-wolf was waiting. He had to short circuit the wolf, and he had to do it now.

The purple-haired teen stood in front of the open shower-stall, water rushing behind him. Randy just stood there, waiting patiently. As if on cue, a growl echoed throughout the room. The wolf emerged, its eyes locked on Randy.

"You want me?" asked Randy. "Then come and get me!"

Randy made the universal 'come at me' sign. Taking the taunt, the wolf sprinted towards the tall teen. Randy got ready. As soon as the wolf got closer, Randy jumped at the last second. The wolf went into the stall, right into the water. Once the water hit the robotic wolf, it malfunctioned. In a matter of seconds, the wolf was down for the count.

Randy just stayed on the ground, staring at nothing at particular. Howard had came in, and started going on and on about how brave and bruce he was. Randy did reply, nor acknowledge his best friend's presence.

No, he was too busy staring at the red-haired man in a fedora that watched him the whole time.

….

Randy sat on the couch, listening to his father freaking out while his mom bandaged his hand.

"Do you know how much we were worrying, Randall?" asked Mr. Cunningham. "I was about to have a heart attack when Principal Slimovitz said you and Howard didn't make it out! Now I hear you single-handedly took on a robotic wolf and only got a sprained wrist and bleeding knuckles?"

"Dad," whined Randy. "I'm alright. At least I saved Howard."

"You could have been killed!"

"But I'm fine! A bit bruised up, but I'm fine!"

"Randy," said Mrs. Cunningham. "No more recklessness, alright? Now, go to your room to do your homework."

"Does that mean I'm grounded?"

"No."

"Yes."

Mrs. Cunningham glared at Mr. Cunningham.

"Richard," sighed Mrs. Cunningham. "Just let it go."

"But Akemi," protested Mr. Cunningham.

Randy chuckled as his parents playfully argued with each other. He quietly snuck upstairs while his parents argued whether or not Randy should be grounded.

Once his room, Randy was about to go to bed when his eyes landed on the table in the middle of his room. Resting on said table was an antique box. Randy shut the door behind him, walked over to the table, and kneeled in front of it.

The box was black as ebony and had strange red markings. In the middle was a golden symbol shaped like a nine. Underneath the lid, something glowed red. Randy opened the lid, and was met with red light.

"The Ninjanomicon," he whispered automatically.

He pulled out a black book with the same red markings as the box. In the middle of the book was a jade-green ninja-head symbol. Randy was going to toss it aside, but he placed it next to the box. Under the book was a yellow slip of paper that was scribbled on.

_"You are the Ninja."_

"Oh my **SWEET!**" he cheered quietly.

He instantly pulled out a black mask with red markings. The fabric felt silky, but felt more like a mask. But, there was one more item in the box. It was another note, with another message.

_"You cannot tell anyone."_

Randy frowned. He couldn't tell anyone, not even his best friend or parents.

"I'm the Ninja?"

He thought for a couple of seconds.

"Randy Cunningham: ninth grade Ninja. Ha! I like the sound of that."


	2. I Am the Ninja

_**Randy Cunningham: 9**__**th**__** Grade Ninja (Series Rewrite)**_

**Author's Note:**

**What? I got 2 favorites, 4 followers, and 6 reviews? I feel honored! :)**

**Anyway, review replies!**

**QueenOfShadows: I love your name! Anyway, thanks! I am going to put some of my OC's, including new ones! And the kunoichi, I will put one in. I mean, if there is a male ninja, there's gotta be a female one! Boy and girl power, people!**

**XD (Guest): Why thank you! I rewrote "Last Stall on the Left" like that to show why Randy was chosen as the Ninja. Thank you for the review!**

**Elcall: Thank you for the review! And, for the pairings, I'm not sure yet. Like the show, I won't focus on the pairings too much. There may be hints of Fowlham, but I'm not sure that will be the main pairing.**

**FlyingDutchGirl: Thanks! :D I hope you like this "episode"/chapter.**

**Nomi Norisu: Thanks! :) I hope you like this update!**

**Taylor Devline: I won't make any promises. But, how dark I make this may be appropriate for teens. And don't worry, I don't judge people. I only make stories to make them happy! ;)**

**Okay, in this chapter, this is where Randy tells Howard he's the Ninja. And, this is where he has his first battle as the Ninja and his first battle with a stanked student. If there are any errors (grammar, spelling, etc.), I apologize. I'm not perfect, folks!**

**Disclaimer: "Randy Cunningham: 9****th**** Grade Ninja" belongs to the brilliant minds of Jed Elinoff and Scott Thomas. Disney XD also owns this awesome show, as well.**

**Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, fangirls and fanboys, and people of all ages! Read and enjoy please! And don't forget to review!**

(…..LINE….BREAK…..)

_Episode Two: Got Stank_

_Episode Two (My Version): I Am the Ninja_

…..

It was evening time in Norrisville. At Norrisville High, the first basketball game of the season in play. Outside behind the Norrisville High sign, two freshmen were talking. Well…more like arguing.

"Howard, this is stupid," said Randy, irritated.

"Come on," said Howard. "The 'meeting the Ninja' thing was a bust. But, we _will _get into the Fish Cage!"

"And _this _is how?" asked Randy, incredulous.

"You got a better idea?"

"Say you're Heidi's brother and they'll let us in," Randy said. "Heidi is like the queen bee of the school!"

"No honking way."

The two were quiet for a few moments. Finally, Randy groaned and gave in.

"Fine, let's do this. The sooner we do this, the sooner I can get this stupid stuff off me."

The two ran towards the doors, and headed inside without another word.

….

The game was already in session, with Norrisville High already in the lead. The crowd was cheering loudly; while the kids in the Fish Cage were too busy gossiping or chatting with one another.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Randy and Howard came in wearing nothing but Speedos and blue body paint. Randy, who was feeling super embarrassed, blew the air-horn and shouted.

"WHAT UP NORRISVILLE HIGH!"

Howard shot out silly string.

The whole room stared at them in silence. Randy looked towards Howard, who shrugged.

"Dorks!" shouted a random basketball player.

The whole room erupted in laughter, pointing at them and taunting them. Randy's face turned red in embarrassment while Howard cursed and put up the middle finger at everyone.

The two teens walked in silence as a seat near the place where the marching band was playing.

"I can't believe you thought that would work!" exclaimed Randy, throwing his arms in the air. "We're going to be labeled as the dorks who wore body paint and Speedos to the game."

"Cunningham, at least we're not the marching band," reasoned Howard. "I mean, those dudes get made fun of _all _the time."

Howard pointed a thumb towards the marching band that was innocently playing. While they played, various food items were being thrown at them.

Randy and Howard winced as a kid who was playing the maracas got hit by a math book.

"Wow," said Randy. "Marching band gets hit by food and books while orchestra gets awesome trips and awards."

"I know, right?" said Howard. "I mean, I heard the orchestra kids once went to the White House!"

…

Meanwhile, a blonde boy was crazily playing his triangle. A brunette girl with glasses looked towards him, rolling her eyes.

"Bucky," said Flute Girl, "there is no triangle solo in this song. Or _any _song."

But, Bucky didn't listen and just kept playing on. The band instructor looked at the blonde, walked up to him, and pulled him out.

"Hensletter," said the band instructor, "no show-boating! You're benched from the game until further notice!"

"Bu-But the triangle is my life!" protested Bucky.

The band instructor closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Put your triangle-dinger in my hand, son."

"You can take my dinger," Bucky said placing the triangle-dinger in the band instructor's hand. "But you'll never take my back-up dinger!"

Bucky held up an extra triangle-dinger. He ran off, crying. But, he bumped into the mascot, causing them both to fall to the ground. Bucky quickly got up, and continued to run off.

_'Wa, wa, waaaa.' _A trombone player played.

Again, the whole gym erupted in laughter. Kids snickered and taunted the triangle player, quite harshly.

Howard roared with laughter.

"Oooh, band geek burn!" he laughed.

Randy shook his head in pity. The kid loved to play the triangle, who could blame him?

….

Deep beneath the school lied a hidden chamber filled with pipes that lead up to the school. The cavern walls were black as obsidian and green mist floated all around. On a tall rock, rats scurried all around.

A particular mouse was just going about his business when a sickly green hand picked him up. The mouse struggled, but what he saw scared the daylights out of him.

White, soulless eyes bore into the mouse's brown ones. The mouse could've sworn the eyes were looking right into its soul, seeing all its memories, emotions, and something mice shouldn't have. Its skin was a darkish green and its yellowish brown teeth looked as if the person hasn't heard of a toothbrush. The man wore an old brown shroud with a hood that covered his eyes. The man looked thousands of years old.

"Hello there," said the man. He sounded like he was British.

The mouse shakily squeaked.

"I am the Sorcerer," the man said with a sickly smile. "I have been imprisoned in this cavern for eight hundred years. You've probably heard of me."

The mouse hesitantly shook his head. The Sorcerer frowned and put the mouse down. The mouse heard clinking and looked up. On the Sorcerer's wrist were golden shackles. The shackles were attached to golden chains that lead down somewhere.

"No matter," said the old man, regaining his devilish smile. "I won't be here for long."

The Sorcerer looked up to the ceiling and gave a sniff. He could smell misery, but he could hear it. A young teen's voice filled his mind, crying over the fact someone would not let him play his prized instrument.

"I can sense a perfect candidate," drawled the Sorcerer. "Mmm, he'll do nicely."

The Sorcerer raised his arms, and green mist shot out and into a pipe.

….

Bucky was hiding in a corner near a door that lead to the gymnasium. He held his back-up triangle dinger in near his chest while he was in fetal position.

Green mist oozed out of a vent, swirling around the distressed teen. The teen instantly stood up.

Bucky's body started changing. His arms grew bigger and his eyes turned yellow.

"ThEy'Ll PaY," he said in a garbled language, "tHeY'lL aLl—"

A door slammed right into Bucky's face, and three teens ran out. The door closed, and Bucky peeled himself off the wall he crashed into.

"PaY," he finished meekly.

The door hit him once again, and an African American girl walked away. The door closed again, and Bucky fell onto the ground.

…

In the band room, the band kids were putting away their instruments. The band instructor put away her conductor-baton and faced the kids.

"Good game tonight," she said. "You played some strong D. And you B flats and A minors were too bad, either."

_'Wa, wa, waaaaa,' _the trombone player once again.

"Stevens, cool it with the sad trombone," said the band instructor.

The door suddenly burst open, and a monster came in. Its skin was a darkish purple, its eyes were yellow, and its teeth looked like it could bite off titanium. But, what strike the marching band was the blue and yellow band uniform the monster wore.

The marching band cowered in a corner as the monster roared.

…

Outside, Randy and Howard came out of the bathroom, wiping off the blue body paint.

"Ugh," said Howard, "I'm so glad we got this stupid stuff off. It was starting to make my butt itch."

"Yeah," said Randy. "But now we're wearing nothing but Speedos!"

"Hey, it could be worse."

"How?!"

"We could've been naked."

Randy's face turned bright red.

"Howard!"

"What?" asked Howard. "It's the truth."

Suddenly, roars and screams filled the hallways. Randy looked over and saw it was toward the band room.

"Uh, I gotta go."

"Why?"

"I…um…gotta get home. It's sushi night and you know my mom makes the best sushi. So…SEE YOU LATER!"

Randy made a mad dash, leaving a very confused Howard standing by the bathroom.

A week ago, after Randy defeated the robo-wolf, he was chosen to be the Ninja. Normally, he would have told Howard, since he told Howard everything. But, after Randy saw the note that said he couldn't tell anyone, Randy had an inner conflict. Howard was his best friend, and if he didn't tell him, it could ruin their friendship. But, he would get in trouble and he might get the mask taken away. Being the Ninja was the biggest responsibility Randy ever gotten, and he wasn't going to mess it up now.

Once he reached the band room, he looked around to see if anyone was near. The coast was clear, so Randy pulled the Ninja Mask out of his Speedos.

"I can't believe I'm putting this on," he muttered. "It was in my pants!"

With gross thoughts aside, Randy placed on the mask. Red and black ribbons flew around until he was in the Ninja suit. Fully suited, Randy kicked down the door and ran in.

The band cheered as the Ninja faced Stanked Bucky.

_Holy crap, this is my first monster fight! _Randy thought to himself._ Okay, gotta remember what the Nomicon said. Believe in the weapon that is in the suit._

After being chosen, Randy had his first lesson with the Nomicon. When he opened the book, the words **"Believe in the weapon that is in the suit" **were written. It took Randy the rest of the week to figure out that it meant the sword that was inside the suit was the weapon he had to believe in.

"Alright, Bucky," said Randy as he pulled out his sword. "Gotta ask you. What is going on in this…this area?"

Randy pointed towards Bucky, obviously confused by the boy's stanked form. Bucky leaned closed to Randy and growled in his face.

"If I cAn'T pLaY tRiAnGlE," said Bucky in a garbled language, "tHeN nO oNe WiLl!"

With that, Bucky threw a punch and sent Randy flying. The young Ninja crashed into a shelf, causing various percussion instruments to fall down. Two cowbells fell onto Randy's head, causing the teen to groan.

"Okay," Randy said. "That…that was good. But, prepare for this. NINJA KICK!"

The Ninja ran up, and kicked Bucky in the chest. The blow caused the band geek to crash into the wall, sending him out. The broken wall caused cracks in the ceiling. The cracks kept coming until the ceiling started caving in.

"Get out!" yelled Randy.

He led the marching band and band instructor out of the room. At the last second, Randy ran out through the hole in the wall. The room collapsed.

…..

Randy snuck into his room through the window. Once he was inside, he took off the mask and collapsed onto the floor. After the little mishap in the band room, Randy had searched for Bucky. But, the monster-turned band geek disappeared without a trace. Now, Randy was just ready to fall asleep.

But, the Nomicon started glowing. Randy groaned, and walked over to his desk.

"What now?" whined Randy. "It's 3:30 am, Nomicon! What do you want?"

As soon as he said those words, the book opened itself up. Randy's pupils shrank, and his head fell onto the book.

…

_Randy was falling. Around him, neon arrows swirled. A neon red arrow and neon pink arrow grabbed his arms, and set him gently onto the ground._

_ "Whoa, you can do this?" asked Randy._

_ The neon red arrow turned into words._

**Yes, young Ninja.**

_"So, what do you want?"_

_ In front of him, a picture of a Chinese man formed. The man was holding a beautifully crafted fan. But, the fan turned green and the man turned into some kind of snake monster. A doodle ninja appeared, and used its sword to slice the fan in half. The man turned back to normal, looking very confused._

**The evil funk possesses the vulnerable using that which he hold most dear.**

_"What the juice is that supposed to mean?" asked Randy, totally lost._

_ The neon pink arrow grabbed his arm, and pulled him to a different part of the Nomicon._

_ They stood in front of a sakura (cherry blossom) tree. It showed a ninja battling a monster. The monster was holding a rose that had green mist oozing out of it. The ninja snatched the rose, and sliced it in half. The monster turned back to a person, a boy._

_**You have to de-stank him, young warrior.**_

_And with that, Randy was pulled out of the Nomicon._

…

Randy woke up. How long was he out?

Randy looked at the clock on his computer.

6:59.

He had been out for three hours. At least he got some sleep.

Randy quickly got ready for school. He had a plan to get Bucky.

And, he hoped Howard would forgive him.

…

Howard was rummaging through his locker. After finding the soda can, he opened it and started drinking. The ginger shut his locker, and turned around.

"Hi Howard," said a voice.

Howard instantly spitted out the soda once he got a look at his best friend. Randy was clad in a band uniform, holding a triangle in his hand. Howard threw the soda can onto the ground and stared at the taller teen.

"Why are you wearing that?" he asked.

"I joined the marching band," answered Randy.

"Why are you saying that!?" exclaimed Howard.

"Uh, because you asked," answered Randy.

Howard grabbed Randy by the shirt, and dragged him into his locker. He looked around, and then shut the locker closed.

"Why did you join the dorkiest dorks in history when we're trying to get into the Fish Cage?!" asked Howard in an accusing voice.

"Uhh…"

Randy knew Howard had no clue he was the Ninja, and he wasn't going to let him find out this way. So, when in doubt, lie.

"My…mom said I should be more involved in school. So, she made me choose either between orchestra, band, or marching band. I chose band. Didn't think I was musically talented, huh?"

"You are a chowder-head!" exclaimed Howard. "You should've chose orchestra! They go on cool trips! Or, band! Band has cool stuff like drums and guitars! But, marching band? Why!"

"Uhh…"

"You know what? Forget it. You're my best friend and I shouldn't judge you. But, I can't be seen with you."

Randy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Alright."

"But, promise me you'll wait ten minutes after I leave before you leave."

"I promise."

Howard gave an impish smile.

"Good and also…"

Howard farted and ran out of the locker. Randy groaned and looked the locker vents.

"Not cool man," Randy yelled. "That is not cool!"

…

During the basketball game, Randy was with the marching band. He played along with the band, while dodging the items that were being thrown at them.

Howard came and sat near the band. Randy looked over at him. Before he could say anything, Howard held up a hand.

"I'm only sitting here for the snacks," he said.

He placed on a hat that caught popcorn, which Howard ate. Randy frowned.

"Really?" he asked. "_You _can't be seen with _me_?"

"Yes," answered Howard.

"Howard, you're such an a—"

The gym's double door burst open, and Stanked Bucky came in. He roared, causing students to run and scream in fear. Taking the opportunity, Randy ducked down into the bleachers. He pulled on the mask and got suited up.

"SMOKEBOMB!"

A cloud of red smoke appeared on court. The kids cheered as the Ninja got into battle stance.

"NINJA! NINJA! NINJA!"

Bucky growled as he turned towards the Ninja. Randy narrowed his eyes, and ran towards the stanked band geek.

"NINJA UPPER-CUT!"

Randy punched Bucky right in the jaw, sending him flying. Bucky hit the wall, but quickly recovered. The band geek ran towards him and head-butted Randy right in the gut. The blow sent Randy crashing into the snack bar. From the bleachers, Howard gasped.

"He killed the snack bar," the pudgy teen muttered to himself.

Howard stood up, and gave a murderous look.

"You make him pay, Ninja!" Howard shouted. "YOU MAKE HIM PAY!"

Randy smiled to himself as he recovered. Leave it to Howard to freak out about destroyed food. As he got up, his eyes landed on the triangle-dinger sticking out in the sash of the band uniform.

"Bingo," Randy said.

He quickly sprinted towards the monster. The blue-eyed teen jumped up, and threw his scarf.

"Ninja scarf snatch!"

The scarf wrapped around the triangle-dinger, and pulled it out. Randy landed on the other side of Bucky. The monstrous band geek turned around, and growled.

"Say good bye to the back-up dinger!"

Randy threw the dinger up in the air, and pulled out his sword. Bucky's eyes went wide, and started running. The Ninja swung his sword.

"Ninja slice!"

The blade connected with the metal dinger, and sliced it in half. The broken triangle-dinger fell to the ground, and green mist flew out. It swirled around Randy's head before retreating to the vents.

"Whoa…"

Students ran towards the Ninja, and started cheering loudly.

"SMOKEBOMB! SMOKEBOMB! SMOKEBOMB!"

Randy gave a victorious smile as he pulled out a small orb. He threw it down and disappeared in a cloud of red smoke.

…..

"I told you me being in the marching band wasn't a bad thing," said Randy. "Now we're sitting in the Fish Cage!"

"That we are, Cunningham," smirked Howard. "That we are."

The two were sitting in the Fish Cage, by themselves. Of course, everyone went down to the court to meet the Ninja, so Howard got the opportunity to sneak into the Fish Cage and sit there. But now, everyone went home. After Bucky was picked up by his mom (he had to, he was naked after he turned back into a human), everyone started going home. Now, Randy and Howard were alone.

"Hey, can I tell you something?"

"Sure, Cunningham."

"I…kinda have a secret I've been keeping since the incident with the robo-wolf."

"What?" Howard turned his head toward the purple-haired teen.

"When I was at home," Randy started, "I found this black box. Inside the box, I found a book and…this."

Randy pulled out the Ninja mask. Howard's jaw dropped.

"My best friend's the Ninja," Howard muttered.

"What?"

"I said…MY BEST FRIEND'S THE NINJA!"

Howard jumped up and started cheering. Randy couldn't help but chuckle at his friend's behavior. Howard stopped cheering and looked towards Randy.

"I'm gonna tell everyone!"

Randy shook his head. "You can't tell anyone."

Howard frowned. "Well that stinks."

"No Howard, this stinks."

Randy threw down a smokebomb, and starting running off. Howard was gagging and cursing wildly.

"THAT IS NOT COOL, MAN! NOT COOL!"

"Pay back for locking me in a locker you farted in!" Randy called over his shoulder.

Howard got out of the Fish Cage, and started chasing after a laughing Randy.


	3. Honesty Hurts a Lot

_**Randy Cunningham: 9**__**th**__** Grade Ninja (Series Rewrite)**_

**Author's Note:**

**Hello again, my friends! :) Time for another "episode"! But first:**

**Review replies!**

**Aquainfurnus: Thank you for the comment! This chapter is for you! (And anyone else that asks for an update!)**

**XD (Guest): Thanks! :)**

**DarkenedRainbowz: I'm glad you're fine with the OC's, but I will do the kunoichi! She may not be Randy's love interest. But, the kunoichi will be here and I will make her different from the other stories.**

**Taylor Devline: :) Thanks for the review!**

**Nomi Norisu: Thank you! I hope you like this chapter!**

**Ninjarose2002: Thank you! :D I hope you like this chapter! **

**Okay, in this chapter, is the rewritten version of "So U Think U Can Stank". I like the idea of how kids at the talent show get stank because of Howard the Mean Judge humiliates them. But, this time, I will rewrite it so that Howard and Randy are judges, but they judge truthfully. Only, when Howard harshly judges Miranda Ellen (a new OC!) about a mess-up in her performance, she gets stanked and starts kidnapping students who do get in. It's up to Randy to save the day when Miranda kidnaps Howard as revenge.**

**You know the drill. I will apologize for any errors (grammar, spelling, etc.) in advance. I'm not a little Miss Perfect Mary-Sue, people!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RC9GN. If I did, Howard would be nicer, there would be a kunoichi, "Flume-Igation" and "On the Poolfront" wouldn't exist, there would be subtle mature and dark themes, and I wouldn't be writing this thing! RC9GN belongs to Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas, and Disney XD! I also don't own the song "Too Cool" by Meghan Martin that will be in this chapter!**

**Everyone who reads my story, read and enjoy please! Don't forget to review, either!**

(…..LINE….BREAK…..)

_Episode Three: So U Think U Can Stank_

_Episode Three (My Version): Honesty Hurts a Lot_

…..

Randy and Howard were walking towards the school. As they walked, they were constantly bumping into people. The people they bumped into kept shooting them glares and saying 'watch out, kid'.

Randy accidently bumped into a girl blonde hair and baby blue eyes. The girl glared at him.

"Watch out, kid," she said in a Louisianan accent.

"Howard," said Randy, "have you notice people have no idea who we are?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Howard, clueless. "People at this school love me! I even got a nickname. The Watch-Out Kid!"

They stood at the middle of the main hall. An olive-skinned girl bumped into Howard, dropping her books.

"Watch out, kid," she said in an Italian accent.

The girl picked up her books, and walked away. Randy shook his head.

"You're not the Watch-Out Kid! They're saying 'watch out, kid'!"

Realization spread across Howard's feature. He frowned.

"Oh," he said. "Then yeah, we're completely faceless."

"See! I told—Oof!"

Randy was knocked down.

"Oh my god!" said a voice. "I'm so sorry."

Randy looked up and was met with a pair of dark blue eyes. The person, who the eyes belonged to, was blushing furiously as she helped Randy up. She bent down and picked up her baton, causing some of her purple hair to fall over her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Randy nodded and dusted himself off.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Theresa."

Theresa blushed as she looked away timidly.

"Sorry for knocking you down," she apologized quietly. "I was hurrying off for the auditions."

"For baton twirling?" asked Randy.

"No, for the talent show," she said. "Anyway, I gotta go. See you!"

The purple-haired girl ran towards the gym, where there was a long line. Randy and Howard looked towards the line, where a tall, red-headed girl was on her tablet. She had on a red hat with a camera attached to it. Howard frowned instantly.

"Heidi," the ginger muttered as he looked at his older sister.

On the monitors, Heidi's image was broadcasted. The peppy red-head gave a smile as she stood in front of the line.

"What up, Norrisville?" she asked. "It's your favorite Gossip Girl, H-dubs. I'm right now outside the gym where the Norrisville High Talent Show! Auditions will be put on hold, due to Bash and Mick backing out so they can be in the talent show themselves."

The students booed, lucky that the bullies weren't there at the moment. Heidi raised a hand and the jeering died down.

"But don't you worry!" Heidi reassured. "I already found the perfect candidates for the new judges; my little brother Howard Weinerman and his best friend Andy Cunningham."

"What?!" yelled Howard over the cheers.

"My name is Randy!" Randy protested. "I've know Heidi my whole life and she still hasn't learned my name!"

"Speaking of the judges," Heidi continued, walking towards the two teens, "here they are now!"

The camera was suddenly on them, making Randy freeze and Howard give his sister a murderous look.

"Not only will they be judging; they may also get a chance to be known school-wide!"

"Heidi, there is no way in hell I'm…Did you say we might get a chance to be popular?"

Heidi covered the camera, and glared at her little brother.

"If you don't wonk this up, then yes."

"Then we're in!"

Randy glared at Howard, while Howard was going on about how he would make sure the Talent Show would be the best one ever.

….

"I can't believe you got us into this," Randy hissed at Howard.

"If we want to be popular," whispered Howard, "then we have to do this. Besides, I can't say I'm best friends with the Ninja! It will totally blow your cover and you'll murder me!"

Randy huffed and looked away.

The two boys were sitting at a table that faced the stage where people would be auditioning for the Talent Show. Behind them, an audience was watching. Everyone was eager to watch.

Randy just wanted to run off and be in that crowd since he had no idea how to be a judge. But, Heidi threatened that if they screw up, she would post the video of him and Howard taking a bath together (and not the one when they were three).

But, as the audition went on, Randy actually enjoyed being a judge. He and Howard argued who should and shouldn't be in the talent show, but still had fun. Randy only told the truth and what he thought, while Howard only like the ones that were awesome [like the kid magician who asked for a volunteer to be sawn in half (the volunteer being Heidi)]. Randy even got to enjoy Theresa Fowler's baton twirling performance, while ignoring Howard accusing him of having a crush on Theresa.

Randy looked at his clipboard to announce the next act.

"Next up," he said, "is Miranda Ellen."

Up onstage, a girl walked up to the microphone. She had long, dirty blonde hair that reached past her shoulder blades. Her eyes changed in the light and her skin was fair and flawless. She wore a golden sequin dress, white tights, and gold high-heels. From what Randy heard, Miranda was the most popular girl at school, due to her mom being a pop-star.

Miranda smirked as she held the mike. She took a deep breath, and sang.

_I'm too cool for my dress_

_These shades don't leave my head_

_Everything you say is so irrelevant_

_You follow and I lead_

_You wanna be like me_

_But you're just a wannabe_

_Love it or hate it_

_I can't help the way I am_

_Hope you don't misunderstand_

_But I'm too cool, too cool_

_I'm too cool to know you_

_Don't take it personal_

_Don't get emotional_

_You know it's the truth_

_I'm too cool for you_

_You think you're hot_

_But I'm sorry you're not_

_Exactly who do you think you are?_

_Can tell what you what, that you haven't got_

_But when we walk into the room_

_I'm too cool for you_

_You're lucky I'm so nice_

_Even I'm surprised_

_You are still allowed to be in my crew_

_I'll show you how it's done_

_If you wanna be someone_

_Just watch me and you'll learn some_

_Me, myself, and I agree_

_You'll never catch up with me_

'_Cause I'm too cool—_

Miranda tripped over a cord, and landed on her butt. The audience started snickering, making Miranda glare at them. But, Howard was laughing out loud. Everyone placed their gaze on the ginger.

"That's hysterical!" he laughed.

"What is?" asked Miranda, who was glaring daggers.

"You're singing this song about how perfect and cool you are. Then, right when you're saying how you're too cool, you trip and mess up! That is _so-o-o _not cool!"

Howard and the audience were laughing out loud. Even Heidi was holding back laughter, causing her to snicker loudly. Miranda's cheeks turned bright pink, her eyes too glassy.

Randy watched as she ran off stage, crying.

…...

Backstage, Miranda hid behind the clothing rack. She sat in fetal position, with her knees close to her chest and her head resting on her knees. Tears streamed down her face, causing her mascara to run.

"Stupid Howard Weinerman," Miranda said between sobs. "You have no idea what talent is unless it smacks you in the face!"

Above her head, green mist pooled out of the vent. Miranda looked up, and gasped. The mist entered through her mouth, and her eyes turned yellow. Her mouth morphed into a beak, her arms started growing yellow feathers, and a bird-like screech escaped her throat.

In a matter of moments, Miranda was a humanoid bird creature. Miranda spread her wings, and flew up.

She landed on the beams that had the spotlights attached to them. She looked down, and saw the auditions were still underway. Miranda growled.

"If I cAn'T bE iN tHe TaLeNt ShOw," she said in a garbled language, "ThEn ThErE wOn'T bE a TaLeNt ShOw!"

With that, Miranda flew to another part of the backstage.

…

"Thank you Juggo," Randy said as the clown teen walked off stage.

So far, the Talent Show already had eight acts. They just needed five more and then he and Howard were done.

"Who's the next act?" Howard asked.

Randy was about to answer when the Nomicon started glowing inside his jacket. Randy frowned, and gave Howard the clip board.

"Cover for me," Randy said. "And be honest, or I won't hesitate to give Heidi that video of you singing a Taylor Swift song."

"It was a dare!" Howard protested.

"Not. That. Video," Randy hissed as he walked away.

Howard grumbled and muttered something about devious best friends.

Randy quickly went to the very back of the gym and hid underneath some bleachers. Sitting with his legs crossed beneath him, Randy placed the book in his lap and opened it.

"Alright Nomicon," he said. "What do you want? Kinda in the middle of judging auditions here!"

The pages flashed, and Randy's pupils shrank. His head fell right on top of the book.

…..

_Randy was falling, yet again. This time, a neon pink arrow was holding him. But, the neon pink arrow turned into a silhouette of a ninja. It set him down in front of a field. At first, there was nothing in the field, just grass and mountains surrounding it. Then, suddenly, a doodle drawing of a ninja appeared. The doodle ninja held a sword, and narrowed his eyes. In front of him, a man in a strange cloak stood, with green mist surrounding him. High up in the sky, words started forming as the two doodles fought._

**Centuries ago, a great war was waged between good and evil, between Ninja and Sorcerer. Too powerful to destroy, the Dark One was locked deep underground, his prison sealed with a sacred stone.**

_The doodle ninja casted the man in the cloak down a hole, and sealed it with a yellow stone. The scene shifted to the underground cavern of the cloaked man's prison._

**In the darkness he waits to wreak havoc. Possessing the vulnerable, using that which they hold most dear, using the power from chaos. Once he gains enough power, he will escape and darkness will reign.**

_The last thing he saw was the cloaked man shooting green mist towards the yellow stone, breaking it, and causing chaos in the world above. Randy's eyes widen and he felt something strange in his stomach._

_ "The Mists of Misery," he said. Randy shook his head. "Wait…how did I know that?"_

_ The pink ninja silhouette grabbed his arm, and looked him straight in the eye._

_ "__**He gains power from misery**__," the pink ninja said. "__**And misery can be caused by many things; a broken heart, rejection, humiliation…**__"_

_ With that, Randy was pulled out of the Nomicon._

….

Randy bolted up, banging his head on the bleachers. He cursed under his breath and stuck the Nomicon back into his jacket.

"I will never understand that book," he said to himself. "Why tell me about some evil dude who uses misery as a…HOLY SHIT! MIRANDA!"

Realization spread across his features when he remembered the girl who ran off stage, crying. Miranda Ellen must be miserable, meaning the Sorcerer could turn her into a monster. He had to find Miranda, and he had to do it right now.

Randy ran towards Howard, who just finished judging a dance team's performance. The purple-haired teen quickly took his seat next to the pudgy teen.

"Howard," Randy whispered, "we got a major problem."

"Don't worry," Howard whispered back, "I didn't screw anything up and I was honest. We got eleven acts, only two more performances to be chosen and we're done!"

"No, you don't understand. When Miranda ran off after she messed up, she—"

A loud screeched filled the gym. Everyone looked up in horror as a humanoid bird creature flew around. The creature's yellow eyes locked on to Howard, and it growled.

"Holy son of a mother!" cried Howard. "Is that Miranda?!"

The answer was given when the monster roared.

"YoU dOn'T kNoW TALENT!" Miranda screeched. "YoU bE iDiOt!"

Miranda flew down, and grabbed Howard. The ginger screamed as the humanoid bird flew off. The gym erupted in chaos as students ran around screaming and cursing. Randy quickly ran through the crowd and towards the stage. Miranda was flying backstage, he was sure of it.

"Looks like it's Ninja-o'-clock!"

Randy grabbed the Ninja Mask and quickly put it on. In a matter of seconds, he was fully suited up and running faster than he normally would.

"I'm coming for you buddy!"

…

Being best friends with the Ninja had its perks. But, right now, there was not perk to this.

Getting trapped in a cage by a deadly humanoid bird creature was _not _something Howard expected to happen when his best friend was the Ninja. No, he was in deep cheese if his best friend doesn't save them. No, Howard wasn't stupid. It wasn't just him that was kidnapped, there were more.

Somewhere backstage (damn, backstage was _huge_), Stanked-Miranda kept him and everyone who got in the Talent Show in cages made of sticks and props. Howard was trapped in a cage made of sticks and plastic swords with the magician kid that sawed Heidi in half.

"Believe or not," said the boy, "this isn't the first time I got put into a cage because of my magic acts."

"Oh really?" asked Howard.

"Yeah," the boy answered. "One time, I accidently made my sister's homecoming dress disappear and she locked me in my un-escapable cage for a week until she found it. Apparently, I made it go back to her closet."

Howard laughed. "Sisters, am I right?"

"Uh-huh."

"SiLeNcE," Miranda hissed.

Howard glared at the girl who was sitting on a prop throne.

_That chick got some issues, _Howard thought to himself. _So what if she messed up and didn't get in? It's not like being in the Talent Show was going to do her any good._

"Let us out!" cried a girl in a cage made of sticks and plastic spears.

"What have we ever done to you?" asked a boy in a cage made of sticks and multicolored batons.

"MoM nEvEr ShOwS uP," Miranda growled. "If I wAs iN tAlEnT sHoW, sHe'D sEe! BuT, fAtTy HeRe rUiNeD eVeRyThInG!"

Miranda pointed her wing towards Howard, making everyone glare at him. Howard put his hands up in defense.

"It's not my fault she messed up!" Howard protested. "If I let someone in who messes up, Heidi would broadcast that video of me and Randy taking a bath together."

"You were probably three," scoffed a girl.

"NOT THAT VIDEO!" Howard yelled. "WHY WOULD THERE BE A VIDEO OF US TAKING A BATH AT THREE?"

"That's what parents do," said a boy.

"It's their job to love and embarrass us," muttered the magician boy.

"SHUT UP!" Miranda growled. "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP OR I—"

"SMOKEBOMB!"

A cloud of red smoke appeared on the backrest of the throne. The Ninja appeared, causing everyone to cheer.

"The Ninja!"

"He's here to save us!"

"Go Ninja!"

"NiNjA," Miranda growled as she turned around.

"Alright, bird-brain," Ninja said. "Get ready to get your butt—WHOA!"

Miranda slapped Randy with her wing, causing him to crash into the cage where Howard was. The cage broke instantly. The magician boy ran while Howard kneeled by Randy.

"Ninja! Speak to me!"

"Easy buddy, easy," Randy said, sitting up. "I'm fine. You have to free everyone while I deal with bird-brain."

Howard gave a nod and started running off. Randy quickly got to his feet, and got into battle stance.

"Alright Miranda," Randy called. "I feel weird fighting a girl, but…you're a monster."

Miranda growled as she flew up. Her yellow eyes glared daggers as she whipped her wing across, sending razor-sharp feathers Randy's way.

"Ninja rings!"

Randy threw small, circular rings towards the feathers. The rings and the feathers collided, and the rings cut through the feathers. Miranda hissed as one of the rings nicked her wing. She landed on the throne, her eyes screaming bloody murder.

Randy's eyes scanned Miranda, trying to find what she held most dear. Finally, his gaze landed on a charm bracelet. The bracelet had green mist swirling around it, especially a heart charm. Randy readied his scarf.

"Yo Ellen!"

Miranda glared harshly at Randy.

"WhAt?"

"NINJA SCARF SNATCH!"

Randy threw the scarf, and it grabbed the bracelet. Miranda was too slow to stop Randy. Once the bracelet was in his hands, Randy pulled it and broke it apart. Mist swirled around his head before retreating to the vents.

….

"You did well," Howard said. "You stop a crazy bird-chick from almost killing me and we manage to judge a Talent Show without screwing up."

"Yeah," answered Randy. "But, I just learned I have a arch enemy that I have to prevent from escaping."

"That too."

The boys were sitting front row, watching the talent show. The talent show was a success, and Heidi didn't have to broadcast the video. As they watched, a thought occurred to Randy.

"Hey Howard?"

"Yeah, Cunningham."

"Do you think the robot wolf that attacked us came from another enemy of the Ninja?"

"I dunno, why?"

"Because…I have a feeling the Sorcerer won't be the only enemy I have."

Randy frowned, but Howard just waved it off.

"Relax, Cunningham," Howard reassured him. "Maybe in the near future you might have a partner to help you fight all the enemies you have and junk."

"Yeah right," Randy said. "It's not like I'm going to get a ninja-chick to help me."

The two laughed, then turned their attention back to the show.


End file.
